It's a New Year

2011. It's the year before the end of the world, the year after my high school graduation, and the year I'm starting a blog. It's an interesting year. The modern world is a funny place. Facebook has made stalking socially acceptable, YouTube can make anyone famous, and Blogs let people anonymously spill their guts to the world. So here I am spilling my guts.

I should be doing my homework, or washing dishes, or even cleaning my room, but instead I'm blogging and thinking about a guy, who shall here be forever named Locker Boy. It's been slightly over a week since I first met him. It was the end of art class, and he needed to share a locker with someone because he rented the wrong size. I volunteered, we exchanged numbers so he could get into my locker if I was off campus, and the day went on. Monday he texts me for the combination. A joke here, a question there and suddenly we're texting off and on for 12 hours. A few days later we're doing our art homework together. He talks about how he's relationship phobic, I agree due to the fact my last relationship ended because my boyfriend was gay. I like simple, and relationships are anything but. We discover that we both like cuddling, and decide that we should be cuddle buddies. Basically like the movie No Strings Attached but instead of sex it's just cuddles. Yeah it sounds a little cheesy but I like the simplicity of it.

Yet lately he's been talking about having a possible actual relationship with me in the future. This should please me, but instead I'm totally torn. It took me awhile to figure out why the idea of dating him bothers me. Romantic relationships end. Friendship rarely does. I like the way things are, and I don't want it to end. I like him, and true, I don't know him that well, but you have to start somewhere. We went to see The Kings Speech (an amazing movie) as friends and it was nice. I'm just not thrilled with the idea of getting emotionally attached because of my past, rather disastrous, experience. Gay boyfriends aren't exactly confidence boosters. But one of my resolutions this year is to just go with the flow and be myself. If going with the flow leads to a relationship with Locker Boy, then I will accept it wholeheartedly. If not, that's good too. Life is too short to worry overmuch about this stuff. But it's nice to get it off my chest.

Thanks for listening.

Todays Colour: Pink